Marriage Customs in Kottayam

Marriage Customs in Kottayam

Marriage and morals generally go together.  Kerala has evolved through the ages by its own marriage customs and code of morals. Child marriage was familiar in the early days. But now the adult marriage is the normal rule. Widow marriage also was permitted. The most popular form of marriage seems to have been the Gandharva system which facilitated the voluntary union of the male and the female. The Aryanisation of Kerala brought about some change in the institution of marriage and code of morals. Child marriage took the place of adult marriage. The life of the widows became a hard one. There was a general decline in the status of women as well as moral standards. New customs relating to marriage gradually sprang up.

The institution of polygamy and polyandry prevailed especially in the `Namboothiri',`Kshatriya' and other higher castes.There was an unusual practice connected with the institution of marriage and this in `talikettu kalyanam'. Tali (a mangalyasutram) tying was performed on a girl or batch of girls between the ages 11 and 13. It was believed that with tali tying the girl had become an eligible bride. The one who tied the tali had no special claim to matrimony with that girl. The 'tali' was removed from the girls' neck. The essential item in real marriage was not tali tying but the presentation of cloth i.e, 'pudavakoda'. With the spread of education the system of `talikettu kalyanam' came to an end. Marriage alliances have been governed from very early days by certain traditional restrictions. It was the accepted custom to have marriages conducted within the caste itself. Now-a-days inter-cast and intercommunal marriages are mere frequently reported, though it cannot be said that such marriages are very common. There was, even now, the system of marrying the murapennu, the boy's paternal aunt's or maternal uncle's daughter. This system prevailed among the Hindus and the Muslims. The Christian community do not allow matrimonial relations between relatives.

The different communities and castes of Kerala have developed over centuries, their own typical marriage ceremonies. The Hindus belonging to all castes generally compare the horoscope of the boy with that of the girl and satisfy themselves of their compatibility before the proposal for the marriage is formally agreed to. A ceremony called 'jatakam koda' (exchange of horoscopes) or 'motiram maral' ( exchange of rings) is sometimes conducted before the marriage is solemnized.Tali tying and presentation of cloth i.e, 'pudavakoda' in South Kerala and 'pudamuri' in North Kerala have become an essential part of Hindu marriages.

The Christians and Muslims have their own characteristic marriage ceremonies. The one thing is common they have with Hindu marriages is the tali tying ceremony. The tali of the Christians is a cord made out of 21 threads from the marriage cloth or 'mantrakodi' which is also presented to the bride.